While dealing with a serious case of the “Sunday scaries” yesterday, I told myself that writing would be the first thing I did today. It wasn’t.
I woke up, worked out, did yoga, filled out orthodontist paperwork for my oldest son, filed my taxes, cleaned the house, organized my storage closet, paid my upcoming bills, and avoided opening Substack.
It’s two weeks into January and my contribution towards this newsletter has been on the back burner and honestly, I haven’t been able to find the usual gusto I have reserved for things like this.
Coincidence that its “Blue Monday” today??
Typically, January tends to be a challenging month for me. The days aren’t even technically longer, but there is definitely something that feels a bit darker (and not in a sexy way) about this month every year for me. It’s definitely the time of year I should feel that natural inclination to hibernate. Yet, the world is screaming in everyone’s face about sticking to resolutions and becoming a better person in the “new” year and I can’t seem to sit still—pacing my 900 square foot apartment until there is a clear path in the carpet from the living room to the kitchen to my bedroom and back.
As this month approached, I did my best not to dread its impending arrival like a long awaited gynecology appointment, but here we are. I had the best intentions of promising to slow down and give it a chance. But sometimes slowing down feels stagnant to me, and stagnancy subsequently feels depressing.
I’ve found myself struggling to honor the stillness that my body innately needs this time of year, trying to move more like the slow drip of honey from the end of a wooden spoon. But I am unfortunately overwhelmed with the restlessness that creeps in around mid-winter in the northern Midwest, and I’ve had to talk myself out of maxing out on pre-workout and weed just to feel something again because I’m bored.
Why can’t I just slow drip like honey??
There is literally nothing of importance at all to this post. I guess all I’m here to say is, thank you for sticking around. And if you are anything like me and have been running out of pre-workout faster than intended, you’re not alone.
Promise there’ll be more substantial content soon, friends.
At least Green Bay beat Dallas.